FRENCH 75: Carla Bruni

Will sometime chanteuse Carla join a mass exodus if le petit Nicolas meets his political Waterloo on Sunday? 1960s icon Françoise Hardy is among stars threatening to quit Paris for Londres if François Hollande wins. Will les Sarkozys presently be joining her in South Kensington over French 75s - 75%, ironically, the rate of tax Hollande aims to impose on the rich -  pondering pourquoi it all went horriblement wrong?  

Make it...shake 1½ shots gin, ½ shot lemon juice and ¼ sugar syrup with ice.

Strain into a chilled flute. Top with Champagne. Lemon twist garnish.

   

Drink it...Beaufort Bar WC2; Vertigo 42, EC2; Épernay, Manchester and Leeds; Square, Bristol; Piano Lounge, Cardiff; Angels, Oxford; Corinthian, Glasgow. 

image blindflaneur.com

GREEN EYES: Mark Ruffalo

Bruce Banner - portrayed by the normally laconic Ruffalo in box office biggie, Avengers Assemble -  has a disturbing tendency to rage. This cocktail’s lurid green hue should remind Ruffalo what can happen when, like Banner, one loses one’s cool. The alcohol slug might settle frayed nerves, but drink too many and those empty calories could turn you into The Incredible Bulk.

Make it...In a highball glass with ice, layer 2 parts orange juice and a squeeze of lemon over 1 part Absolut Citron. Float 1 part Bols Blue Curacao on top. Garnish with green apple slice.

   

Drink it...Test the barman’s knowledge at Zenna W1; London Cocktail Club W1; Happiness Forgets N1; Alma de Cuba, Liverpool; Tiki Bar, Glasgow; Hula, Manchester.    

. 

MINT JULEP: The Puppini Sisters

The vintage frock rockin’ ‘Sisters’ hit London’s Shepherd’s Bush Empire tonight. The ladies’  brand of  Bei Mir Bist Du Schön retro glamour lends itself to this classic Kentucky cooler that’s mandatory for Southern belles. Sip it this summer by the pool: floral print one-piece bathing suit, winged diamanté shades and gold mules optional.

Make it...Gently muddle 12 fresh mint leaves and ¾ shot sugar syrup (gomme) in a tall glass. Add 3 shots of bourbon and crushed ice. Stir and fill glass to rim with more crushed ice. Garnish with a sprig. Sip through a straw.

Drink it...Nightjar EC1; The Lexington N1; Blues Kitchen NW3; Rockwell SW1; Trof NQ, Manchester; Mesmerist, Brighton; Hummingbird, Leeds; Tigerlily, Edinburgh. 

CAMPIRINHA: Harry Derbridge

What drink might former TOWIE star Harry order as the vapid vajazzleds convene to celebrate his 18th birthday at his big fake-tan-tastic bash ‘dahn’ Sugar Hut in Brentwood, tonight? Leafing through the excellent Difford’s Cocktails # 9 guide for inspiration,  I chanced on campirihna, an appropriately fruity sip based on Italy’s favourit aperitif. ‘Camp ‘arry?  No? Shut up!’

Make it...muddle together with ice, ½ fresh lime and ¼ fresh ruby grapefruit cut into wedges. Add 2 shots Campari and ½ shot gomme. 

Drink it...Demand it at the following fine bars. Sugar Hut, Brentwood; V Bar Colchester; Harry’s Bar London EC4 and EC2; Mojo Leeds, Liverpool & Manchester; St Jude’s, Glasgow. 

image: bestfaketan.org.uk  

BLUE LAGOON: Tom Daley

If diving’s blue-eyed boy is allowed the occasional alcopop ahead of his big splash this summer, how about a blue lagoon? Critics worry for Daley’s Olympic dream, citing too many  profile-raising celebrity gigs away from the pool. Starry interviews; fronting TV commercials; that camp YouTube vid, cavorting in Speedos: what next? A disco version of Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini if Tom ends up as Britain’s equivalent of Anna Kournikova?

Make it...pour 1 shot each of Bols blue Curacao and vodka over cubed ice in a tall tumbler. Top with lemonade. Stir gently. Accessorise with lemon wheel, straw and paper parasol.

Drink it… Lloyds No 1 Bars, London and nationwide; Reflex Bars, Birmingham, Glasgow, Wigan, Liverpool, Cardiff, Croydon and other UK locations.

CHAMPAGNE COCKTAIL: John Lanchester

Lanchester has reason to cheer: his latest novel, Capital, is storming the book charts. Whatever the celebration, this foolproof classic is an appropriate pour. London banker Roger Yount, the central character in Capital, might prefer vintage Dom Pérignon in his, but for those not as fortunate to own a multi-million pound Clapham villa like his, this works equally well with £15 supermarket promo champagne or cava.  

Make it...drip two 4 drops of Angostura bitters onto a white sugar cube. Place in the bottom of a flute glass. Cover with cognac (20ml). Top with chilled bubbly.

Drink it…The Bar at The Capital Hotel, SW3; Claridge’s Bar W1; Prism EC3; Épernay, Manchester and Leeds; Hotel du Vin, Glasgow and Brighton; Malmaison, Oxford; 23, Sheffield.

DRAMBUIE 15 RUSTY NAIL: Don Draper

Mad Men fans are salivating over the prospect of Series 5. From 27th March, Sky Atlantic will screen new episodes just two days after broadcast in the US. Apparently, the action jumps forward in time. Will Don ditch his Old Fashioneds for something newer? As he’s a whisky man, how about a Rusty Nail? Big in mid-60s America, it was actually created around the time of Pearl Harbor. Of course, were I his doctor, I’d suggest Draper switch to neat soda water.

Make it...Over crushed ice in a short tumbler, pour 25ml Drambuie 15 year old then 25ml whisky. Stir gently. Add lemon twist garnish.

Drink it…Albannach WC2; Good Godfrey’s at the Aldwych Hilton London; Coco Tang, Nottingham; The Corinthian, Glasgow; 56 North, Edinburgh.   

TWINKLE: Will Young

How time flies. Can it really be ten years to the week since twinkly-eyed 'twink' Will became the nation’s idol? Young’s career continues to flourish. His album, Echoes, topped the UK charts and there are gigs staged in various English forests - cue Evergreen - to look forward to in June. I reckon William owes me a cocktail in return for all those texts sent to ensure my clearly superior choice beat puppet master Simon’s Pop Idol apparent, Gareth, on the night.

Make it... 

Shake 80ml Ketel One vodka and 20 ml St. Germain Elderflower liqueur with ice. Strain into a chilled martini glass. Top with champagne (or prosecco) and add lemon peel float.

Drink it…at Mojobar, Liverpool; Pluto Bar, Stockport; Bon Vivant, Edinburgh; ZTH, Clerkenwell; The Penny Black, Chelsea; Canteen, Canary Wharf and Southbank; or order it from Mr Twinkle himself, Tony Conigliaro at 69 Colebrooke Row, Islington. 

image kanonvodka.com / soundsenseuk

EARL GREY MARTINI: Florence Welch

Two UK number one albums in the bag; feted by Karl Lagerfeld; up for Best British Solo Female Artist at this month’s BRITS, having won ‘best breakthrough act’ in 2010: how does the Camberwell beauty keep her machine oiled? According to my spies, by drinking tea at her local, The Crooked Well. Soup up your cuppa, Flo! Try their take on modern American classic, the Earl Grey MarTEAni. Two, and you’ll be Hurricane Drunk.

Make it... 

Steep 6 Earl Grey tea bags in 200 ml gin (Tanqueray) for 10 minutes. Strain. Allowing 50 ml infused gin per drink, shake with ice, 1 egg white, 25 ml fresh lemon juice, 30 ml sugar syrup (gomme). Strain into sugar-rimmed martini glass.

 

Drink it…The Crooked Well SE5; Berry Bar, Hilton London Green Park, W1(served in a frozen teapot) ; Sygn, Edinburgh; Hotel du Vin, Bristol; Jakes, Leeds; Beagle Bar, Moreton-in-the-Marsh; Ginger’s Bar, Birmingham.

EASY TIGER: Harry Styles

Turning 18 today, Harry’s now old enough to legally order alcohol on licensed premises. Previously, he was restricted to wine, cider and beer, and only then when ordered by an adult - a 32-year-old female TV presenter, say. Was his impending freedom to go cocktail crazy part of the reason he split from one such enabler last week? Hit the bars, Harry, but ..easy tiger! 

Make it... 

Diffords Guide specifies 2 shots tequila, 1 shot freshly squeezed lime juice, 2 small slices fresh ginger, 2 spoonfuls of runny honey, ¾ shot chilled mineral water. Shake with ice and strain. 

Drink it…Devised by Alex Kammerling when Harry was in short trousers, good bars should be up to making one:  69 Colebrooke Row, Islington; Apotheca, Manchester; Bank, Birmingham; The Raconteur, Edinburgh; Angels, Oxford or refer your ‘tender to www.absolutdrinks.com for an alternative recipe.

ROB ROY: Ewan McGregor

It’s Burn’s Night and although a cocktail named after the bard exists (add a splash of Benédictine to this recipe), I prefer a basic Rob Roy afore attacking the haggis. Essentially, a scotch Manhattan, this 1894 creation marked the New York premiere of American composer Reginald De Koven’s operetta about the other famous McGregor clansman. Ewan has a new film to toast: but why choose Salmon Fishing in the Yemen rather than your native Perthshire? 

Make it... 

50ml Dewar’s (or other blended whisky), 25ml sweet vermouth, 2 dashes Angostura bitters. Stir with ice. Strain into a martini glass. Add lemon twist garnish. 

Drink it…Boisdale Belgravia, City or Canary Wharf; Tigerlily, Edinburgh; Oran Mor, Glasgow; The Arts House, Bristol. Masterofmalts.com has a pre-mixed malt version: 70cl (£29.95) onhttp://tinyurl.com/7cguq5k   

image(l) mcgregor.com

(r) euvs.org 

SCREAMING ORGASM: the cast of Geordie Shore

Promising more of the same trampy behaviour as before, the show that makes TOWIE look highbrow by comparison returns to MTV later this month. Expect screaming orgasms from the off. This 80’s hen night cocktail is considered so naff, it’s now positively ironic-iconic. Order one at your coolest local lounge just to noise up its sneery mixologist.    

Make it... 

Variations abound. I prefer 25ml each of Legend of Kremlin vodka, Bailey’s Original Luxardo Amaretto and Kahlúa stirred with ice and strained into a martini glass.

Drink it…Bacchanalia, Manchester; Orchard Bar, Falkirk; B@1 bars Londonwide www.beatone.co.uk and, of course, in Newcastle’s Bigg Market bars. PanAm, Liverpool promises a Screaming Multiple Orgasm (talk about cocky!)

photo: sarah.geek.nz 

MARY PICKFORD: Jean Dujardin and Bérénice Bejo

Hit film The Artist is set in the Prohibition era. If George Valentin (Dujardin) and Peppy Miller (Bejo) fancied legal cocktails, they’d have high tailed it to Cuba where the liquor still flowed and the toast was Mary Pickford. This classic was invented at Havana’s Hotel Nacional for the queen of the silent screen while filming on the island with husband Douglas Fairbanks in the 1920s.

Make it... 

Take 35ml white rum, 35ml fresh pineapple juice, 1 tsp each maraschino liqueur and grenadine syrup. Shake with ice. Strain into a martini glass. Cherry garnish.

Drink it… Bar at The Dorchester, W1 www.thedorchester.com ; Ember Lounge, Manchester (guest list : 0161 278 1000); John Street Speakeasy, Glasgow www.speakeasyglasgow.co.uk; Door 34, Bath 01225 444770

BLUE LADY: Meryl Streep

How ironic! Womens magazine editors - who, as feminist students, would likely have gladly seen the then PM burned at the stake - are running fawning spreads based on Thatcher as fashion icon. Duncan Stirling and Charlie Gilkes's 80's-style Chelsea nightclub Maggie's (inspired by guess who?) has a new sharing cocktail called The Maggie's Head: the head, Arthur Scargill's (or Bob Crow's, for a contemporary twist) run through on a skewer as a garnish, hopefully. Yes, It's Maggie-mania! Raise a glass, then, to Left-leaning Ms Meryl Streep who, despite getting the walk totally wrong, turns in a creditable performance  as Baroness Thatcher, in The Iron Lady, a biopic that opens in cinemas nationwide this week. Despite its true blue credentials, this variant of 1920’s classic, White Lady, might get a bit of a hand-bagging if served to The Iron Lady herself. Maggie’s poison is whisky and, as we discovered,‘the lady is not for turning.’ 

Make it... 

Take 2 shots Plymouth gin, 1 shot each Blue Curaçao and lemon juice. Shake with ice. Strain into a chilled martini glass. Orange peel garnish.

Drink it… at all good hotel bars such as The Grand in Brighton (where the IRA almost did for the old girl) and The Balmoral, Edinburgh (for now, still part of the Union she strove to keep intact). The ex-member for Finchley admires The Goring, London SW1 whose head barman Brian Kinsella provided this recipe.